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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Obama’s Last Gasp, as Told in Limericks

U.S. President Barack Obama attends a news conference with German Chancellor Angela Merkel after a meeting at the chancellery in Berlin, Thursday, Nov. 17, 2016.

There once was a kid from Chicago Who trafficked in high-flown bravado. He shot to the top But then when he stopped Learned from Trump: blowback’s a virago.

That kid was named Barack Obama, And his soldiers did gun down Osama. That welcome event Was about the extent Of what we got out of his drama.

He recalled that the Windy City Where the murder rate still isn't pretty His purpose provided, So then he decided To study with Saul Alinsky.

At Harvard and at Columbia Work caused him no insomnia. All knew he'd go far, That he'd be a star: Call it "post-racial hypoxia."

To find his community perch, He was told to go pick out some church. When the Reverend was Wright, It was "Amens" all night. But that baggage got left in his lurch.

Just an unfinished term in the Senate, Was enough for the voters to ken it: He offered redemption Or at least its pretension. Which in fact is much more telegenic.

He swore we could cling to our doctors. Didn't mention that big dudes in boxers Would prowl in the Ladies', Or that the Euphrates Would run with the blood spilled by monsters.

He didn't exactly forewarn us How thoroughly he scorned us. So we bitterly clung To our crosses and guns While his mandate told nuns to abort us.

Wow that whole funky "Arab Spring" Was a hot democracy fling. It led to no other good, But the Muslim Brotherhood. Guess it's best we forgot the whole thing.

He wasn't that fond of our border laws And so to select, but prolonged applause He waved thousands in, Said those laws were a sin! Using executive power's Santa clause.

He wasn't the best friend of Israel, Let the U.N. coat those folks with vitriol. Lots of cash for Iran Was part of the plan To render our ally vestigial.

When he ran he opposed same-sex "marriage," But of that stance he became quite embarrassed When the judges he'd picked Combined to inflict That charade on courthouse and parish.

And as the days of Obama now dwindle We can count the cost of his swindle Ten trillion in debt  And even greater regret for the divisiveness his tenure rekindled.

It might not do to seem flippant as his fans gag on Trump, pine, and sicken. But he still says: "Yes we can! And we did!" Tell the man, "No you couldn't," and "Oh no, you didn't!"

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