U. of Missouri campus police: To serve and protect (students from being offended by anything)

**Written by Doug Powers

How do the campus police feel about their services being volunteered to walk a speech patrol beat so the perpetually offended can have 24/7 safe space protection? This probably won't last long for one reason or another:

The University of Missouri Police Department has sent an email to students asking them to report “hateful and hurtful” speech to the police, amid simmering racial tensions on campus following the resignations of University President Tim Wolfe and Chancellor R. Bowen Loftin.

Imagine getting robbed at gunpoint and calling the campus police only to hear this recording: "Sorry, but all our officers are currently responding to an emergency call about an unauthorized use of the word 'Christmas' at the student union -- trauma counseling will be made available to anybody who witnessed the incident."

Here's the letter:

Satire dies yet again.

Obligatory:

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe