Conservatism and Other Embarrassing Beliefs of The Crazies

RedState - Tuesday September 22, 2015

Ann Barnhardt addresses what is apparently a theological schism* occurring within The Catholic Church. She uses some fairly hard sarcasm to criticize the point of view of skeptics who pretty much like the whole idea of keeping the organization and the perquisites; while (as she sees it) ditching the entire system of beliefs. A similar model, one where the organization is maintained, but its fundamental beliefs that made it possible are jettisoned is currently being attempted by Congressional Leaders of The Republican Party. Here’s Ann Barnhardt describing what she sees in her church.

OF COURSE they don’t believe in the Divinity of Christ. OF COURSE they don’t believe in the concept of sin, much less Original Sin, and certainly not in any sort of judgment by a personal deity, much less the ridiculous fictions of hell or damnation. OF COURSE they don’t believe in the Mass as The Holy and August Sacrifice of Calvary Made Present, and CERTAINLY not in the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. I mean, come on, this is all a bunch of medieval [Bleep] that a bunch superstitious neanderthals used to oppress and control each other up until we “sang a newchurch into being” in 1965 after Saint Second Vatican Council incarnated in the hearts of men on October 11, 1962, and then ascended on December 8, 1965, thus liberating modern man from nineteen centuries of monumentally embarrassing and oppressive crackpot voodoo [bleep].

We have a similar phenomenon ongoing within the GOP in AD 2015. We call it Failure Theatre™ here at Redstate, and it involves a much more Machiavellian way of attempting the same maneuver Ann Barnhardt is so indignant about above. Here’s the dime tour of how it all works. 

1) Conservatives get all hot and bothered over something silly like unborn kids getting sucked apart and sold for scrap by an entity that gets tons of federal funding and adoring press coverage. They demand that Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) 58% and Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) N/A%DOSOMETHINGABOUTTHEPROBLEM.
2) Boehner and McConnell calmly finish their mint julips, deign to listen to their angry voters and say “Yes indeed. Sucking unborn children apart and selling the pieces like an auction on Ebay is most gruesome.  Stopping it will be our number one priority. Eventually.”
3) Time passes and an opportunity arises for The Mitch and John Show to actually do something about the problem that has excited the base.
4) Mitch and John then break out The Failure Theatre. They would *like* to make the government stop funding the whole diabolically barbaric, premeditated, inhumane unborn child vivisection for profits program thingy, but….

Now the “buts” in question will generally be some negative associated with showing loyalty to the Conservative Base of the party. Maybe the GOP Leaders will get called “Racist” or accused of waging some sort of “War on Women.” Perhaps they fear being branded as the Old Fashioned, Misogynistic White Male Party. Oh dear! We must show the people we aren’t really Grand Old Puke Bags. 

What all of these “buts” ultimately sit upon is a basis of embarrassment. The current leadership of the GOP Congressional majority is embarrassed to be seen acting like the people who vote for them in public. Regardless of how sad they may seem, regardless of how regretful they may sound, they are only offering excuses. The maximum effective range of these excuses is zero for anyone who sees what is really going on.

Would Mitch care more about government shutdowns than preventing Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons if he cared about containing Iran? No. Would Mitch care more about government shutdowns than he did about defunding Planned Parenthood if he had any qualms about their activities or any concern for the lives they snuff? Get out of here! Mitch just wants you to stop being ridiculous. Let’s not get hasty here. Politics isn’t a perfect world. It’s the art of the possible. He would, however, appreciate the $50 checks he gets from Americans from sea-to-sea so that he can keep right on fighting for your values. Unless, of course, it were to prove embarrassing or something. You’ve got to keep the organization humming. Government has to work. The work that government does isn’t something Mitch really cares about as long as the power and the good times continue to roll.

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