Friday Political Humor

2012 Democratic Convention Schedule - Charlotte, NC


4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - sponsored by CNN

4:05 PM - Singing of "God Dxmn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama - led by Whoopie Goldberg

4:15 PM - Tribute to George Soros for his help in creating and
financing the Democratic Platform - Nancy Pelosi

4:30 PM - Reading of the Democratic Platform - Nancy Pelosi
XXXX Canceled.Will be passed without reading.

4:30 PM - Tribute to the Occupy Wall Street movement, for all that they
have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment, and boost
the economy. - Harry Reid

4:45 PM - Jobs seminar - How to have a successful career without having
a job. - - Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson

5:00 PM - Travel Seminar; - Great Vacations I've Taken on the
Taxpayer's Dime - Michelle Obama.

5:30 PM - "Family Values" Seminar - Eliot Spitzer (via Satellite)

5:35 PM - Real Estate Bargains Seminar - Tony Rezko

6:00 PM - Home Mortgage Seminar - Barney Frank

6:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama - led by George Clooney

6:15 PM - Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

6:30 PM - Kinder, Gentler Bombing Techniques - Bill Ayers

6:45 PM - Paying Your Fair Share - Timothy Geitner

7:00 PM - "Free Gov'nr Blagovich" rally

7:15 PM - Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO
- Michael Moore

7:30 PM - Dramatized film re-enactment of Obama's single handed
capture of Osama Bin Laden - Michael Moore

7:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle

7:50 PM - Commitment to US border security - Atty Gen Holder

8:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama - led by David Letterman

8:15 PM - Media Seminar - Bias in Media - How we can make it work for
you - sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the
New York Times

9:00 PM - Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers - Democrat
Nat'l Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

9:15 PM - Energy Plan Symposium - Profiting
with Green Investments - Al Gore

10:00 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ & Afghanistan

10:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama - led by Barbra Streisand

10:15 PM - Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

10:20 PM - Obama accepts Congressional Medal of Honor for Bin Laden capture

10:25 PM - Obama accepts Greenpeace Hero Medal for instant cleanup of
Gulf oil spill, and blocking of Keystone Pipeline

10:30 PM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris " He
sends a thrill up my leg " - Chris Matthews

10:45 PM - *** Break for installation of additional teleprompters ***

11:00 PM - Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior

11:45 PM - Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish - Obama Presiding

12:00 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing (Food stamps distributed to all
delegates as they leave.)

1:00 AM - Convention Hall cleared and cleaned


3:00 AM - Biden Delivers His Acceptance Speech