Safe At Last

Safe at last

I  took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on eBay any more), tossed the 'Don't Tread on Me' flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.  I gave the pit bull to my mother-in-law and stored my AK-47.  I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

Instead  of all that silly stuff I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.  Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on eBay) and ran it up the flag pole.  Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.  I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge  me.
Plus, I bought burkas for my family.  When we shop or travel, everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.

Hot Dang! Safe at last!  Is America getting  greater every day or what?