As a mother of three young adults, I have seen my share of schoolyard bullies, mean girls, vulgar invectives, and acts of poor judgment -- from adolescents. On only one occasion was I shocked and disgusted by an adult exhibiting such behavior and it remains imprinted on my brain for its sheer evil and psychosis.
My ten-year-old son's hockey team was at a tournament in Lake Placid playing in the finals on the "Miracle Ice." In response to one of our players being injured, a mother from the opposing team stood up cheering and clapping. We lost in the final minutes and as our kids skated off the ice with tears in their eyes, that mother stood up pointing at each of them and yelled, "Ha ha, we beat you losers." Sound familiar?
As if months of listening to candidate Trump call everyone a loser hasn't been painful enough, imagine eight years of listening to President Trump's smug condescension as he continually throws out his favorite insults -- moron, lightweight, loser, dummy, dope. (A Google search of "Trump favorite insults" produces 30,400,000 results.) When America's children start to hear this on a daily basis from the POTUS, rest assured, insulting each other will become as American as apple pie.
Stephen Hayes articulated my concern about Trump when he stated, "The main reason I won't support Trump is simpler and more personal: I couldn't explain such a vote to my children." Every time Trump opens his mouth I cringe. And I cannot fathom how his fans listen to him sputter his hateful putdowns and name-calling without having the same visceral reaction. On FoxNews' Special Report, Jason Blair shared, "You want to take a shower after he's done speaking." Exactly.
Donald Trump exemplifies every character trait that parents teach their children not to have. He is a braggart, bully and liar; he is condescending, nasty, judgmental, mean-spirited, divisive, thoughtless, impulsive, selfish, hubristic, unprincipled, misogynistic, and simply put, a jackass. He lacks compassion, empathy, class, social graces, humility, and kindness. And millions of Americans adore him and his vulgarity.
Like Obama, Trump respects one person -- himself. His promises of making everything great without articulating policies on how to achieve all of this greatness are reminiscent of Obama's promises of healing the planet and making the oceans recede. Americans are sick of hearing Obama talk about himself, but Trump has a similar penchant. Gwenda Blair wrote in her book The Trumps,
At his own father's funeral, he did not stop patting himself on the back and promoting himself. The first person singular pronouns, the I and me and my, eclipsed the he and his… There was no sorrow; there was only success…. It was an astonishing display of self absorption.
Trump's hubris has left him unusually thin-skinned. Accused of having stubby fingersdecades ago, he continues to this day to send the reporter pictures of his large hands. Aware of this Achilles heel, Rubio threw out the barb last week and Trump stooped to new lows to proclaim that in addition to beautiful hands, he has a large penis. Who thinks like that other than insecure adolescents? But that comment came from the guy who shared that if Ivanka weren't his daughter, he'd be dating her. (Who thinks like that?) What mother would be proud of her son for doing so?
Trump's bragging about his awesomeness is bad enough. The problem is compounded by the fact that he finds it necessary to debase everyone around him. Anyone who doesn't treat him like the god he believes himself to be is fair game. But what may seem amusing to his loyal fans now will quickly morph into greater offensive behavior if he wins and his over-sized ego blows up even more.
It will also cause him to lose in a general election against Hillary. Already her team is gearing up ads portraying his sexism. And there will be no shortage of material as he has insulted Latinos, Muslims, Jews, "the blacks," handicapped, and war heroes to name just a few. "Junkyard dog," "playground bully," or just classless, mean-spirited jerk, Trump has not exhibited behavior indicative of someone with leadership skills capable of bringing together a divided nation let alone a world at war -- at least in a democracy. In a dictatorship, he'd be right at home.
Parents raise their children to be respectful of others. Children are taught to be nice to their classmates, friends, teammates, teachers, coaches, and strangers. They are taught to play nicely on the playground, on the athletic field (where there is no I in Team), and on playdates. Little Donald must have missed those lessons in his upbringing because winning does not mean calling everyone else a loser, getting down and dirty with cruel personal attacks relating to a person's physical appearance or bodily functions, or threatening those with differing views.
Was young Donald taught that schoolyard threats would lead to "winning"? The name-calling bully who threatened a wealthy family for donating to groups that do not support him or promised Paul Ryanthat there will be "a price to pay" if the speaker does not submissively bend to his will is something one expects from a character like Biff from Back to the Future, not the leader of the GOP presidential field. But Trump is a walking parody of an over-the-top character from a children's movie.
And the hypocrisy of calling for the arrestof a protestor "for the fresh mouth he's got… for a filthy, dirty mouth" is frighteningly indicative of the way this bully will govern -- free speech for me but not for thee. Trump wanted to "see what [the protestor's] mommy and daddy say when they have to go and bail him out" but what does he think his own parents would say about his behavior? Would they condone him wanting to "grab [Rubio] like nothing, boom, hold him up…" or announcing that he wants to punch a protester in the face?
One of the most important traits that parents teach children is honesty. Ironically, Honest Abe (who is surely turning over in his grave watching the destructive path of Tornado Trump) began the party that Trump is now splintering. The guy whose favorite accusation is "you're a liar," has lied about everything from the success of his businesses to his stance on the critical issues of the day. One can call it a change of opinion -- evolving daily if not hourly. But his refusal to disclose his tax returns or allow the New York Times to publish his off-the-record interview is reminiscent of Obama not sharing his college transcripts and the Khalidi tape sitting in the LA Times vault.
And while Ted Cruz has suggested that the media are sitting on stories about Trump's past that will be disclosed once he's the nominee, we already know a lot about his character including that he is a pathological cheater. He cheats at golf, purportedly has cheated on his wives, cheated in the last Fox News' debate, and cheats in business. His victims include a little old lady who simply wanted to keep her home and students who paid tens of thousands of dollars to attend Trump U and who are now suing him. (Trump has been involved in at least 237 lawsuits.) Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised since his father joined him in an illegal scam to bilk his casino's creditors -- the apple doesn't fall far from the Trump Tower. And while he earned four Pinocchios from the WaPo Fact Checker for lying about the advantages his father's wealth provided him, one thing is clear, paraphrasing Hall and Oates, "Trump could rely on his old man's money" to bail him out. He just refuses to admit it.
Trump is one giant lying machine and millions of Americans, who would punish their children for all of the transgressions that Trump has committed, instead cheer him on. We are a country of citizens who have always prided themselves on our exceptional character, Judeo-Christian values, and principled next generations who carry forth the moral fabric of our great society. Trump does not represent who we are as a people -- or at least who we were.
We care about our neighbors, are supportive of those less fortunate, and kind to those with handicaps or in need. And we don't just raise our children with these values; we look to our leaders to serve as examples of what we strive to become. Does anyone want children acting like Donald Trump? If not, why vote for him? How do you explain that to your children? He's going to make America great again? "But mommy, he lies a lot and he's mean to people calling them names all of the time. Why can he do it and I can't?" Are we now going to teach our children to emulate the guy who brags about his manhood in a presidential debate, cheats his way through life, bankrupts his companies at the expense of the shareholders (more little people he could care a less about), and threatens those with whom he disagrees?
Perhaps the biggest concern is that Trump supporters defend and encourage his behavior. They either don't find it offensive or believe it's necessary to move the country forward. But the guy who uses a terrorist attack to take a page from the Rahm Emmanuel playbook of never letting a crisis go to waste and retweet that it would help his poll numbers is not going to heal the country.
Trump is no more the savior today than Obama was eight years ago. What he is doing is mainstreaming everything from racism and anti-Semitism to bullying and cruelty, callousness and ignorance, vapidity and narcissism. His fans may be enamored by his anti-PC vulgarity but they're ignoring what it says about his character. What they should consider is whether they want their children and grandchildren emulating him.
Ben Carson recently shared that a great leader would be someone who treats others well. Excellent advice from a good man. Do American parents agree?
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