Your dog is making this really funny beeping sound.
Your neighbor Mrs. Kravitz disappears after making bizarre claims of receiving death threats claiming it's their turf now.
You get in your car first thing in the morning & instead of broken glass & missing cd's, you find a burglar has installed gps.
Above average number of dog walkers wearing suits & ear pieces. The average is zero.
The drycleaner drops off cleaned black suits even though you told him it's the wrong address. Then bills you every month.
You keep catching Columbian prostitutes in the garage where the attic trap door is.
The squirrels in your attic have some how figured out how to flush a toilet.
Your ringtone keeps changing to "Hail to the Chief."
A third voice on your phone keeps saying "huh?"
Your pizza delivery guy wears a dark suit and sunglasses.
Those workers outside your home have been repairing that same pothole for 8 weeks.
That black helicopter has been hovering over your house for 2 weeks.
15 min after leaving home, you get a text that you left the stove on.
Your anti-virus program keeps giving you the message "Your system is clean, no need to check for another year."
When on the phone, you use the words: Constitution, tea or patriot, your phone gives you an electric shock.
Your child's Fisher Price play telephones eyes follow your every move.
All the satelite dishes in the neighborhood point to your house.
At the grocery store, they stop asking you "paper or plastic." They already know.
A mini-drone just shot that Big Gulp right out of your hand.
The pizza dude is wearing a covert earpiece & answers questions with "affirmative."
You start noticing Robot Squirrels in your yard.
When the government says that they don't spy on American citizens in the U.S..
You're getting dressed in front of a mirror and you hear laughter from the other side.
When Spam in Your Inbox has been sponsored by the NSA and KGB in a Joint Collaboration.
Neighbors are complaining about that observation balloon attached to your chimney.
When you swat a fly you hear a distinct 'ching' followed by an electric shock.
Everytime you go to the store some guy that looks like Peter Graves is following you belting dut du, du du dut du.
Everytime you lose that tow truck driver behind you, onstar says 'give us your location we are sending help immediately.'
Everytime you do your wife, you think you hear 'yeah, give it to her good.'
You could swear you heard your a/c say 'damn lens is frosted over again. Shut up, your mic is on.'
As you pull into your driveway you notice 3 more satellite dishes on your roof
When you imitate the "Can you hear me now?" Commercial six people in unison say "Yes"
You hear someone snickering on the phone when you complain about lack of govt transparency.
You hear answers when you talk to yourself.
Siri's voice starts sounding like Jay Carney.
Your teddy bear's eyes glow green in the dark.
You receive cool 3d xray glasses in mail that really work showing naked women everywhere. You could care less what else they do.
Your lawnmower is putting out especially noxious fumes that make you tell your wife the truth about everything.
You get a letter from Putin bragging about being President of your fan club & asking you to appear at a Kremlin party.
Your laptop's camera light turns itself on while you're Twittering away.
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